A parent and child relationship is a delicate one. Mine with my mother has been fragile at best. With mental illness and histories of dysfunctional relationships as a backdrop, my mother and I have had an uphill battle to say the least. Without disclosing my mother’s privacy, I will just say that things have taken a turn for the worst. I am helpless to help and hopeless that anyone can reach her. So I am left with memories and remorse and a broken heart. I am left turning to God for help and for some relief. Not just for the hole in my heart but for the pain and confusion that my mother is experiencing. For anyone who prays, please do. For those who are experiencimg mental illness or has a loved one experiencing mental instability, please reach out for help. Visit http://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Family-Members-and-Caregivers to find the right health provider for you.
Right now, I am fighting back tears and trying to grapple with this pain. I can’t begin to find the words. As I sit here, the song “Mother” by John Lennon is ringing in my thoughts like a bittersweet soundtrack to this moment. It expresses so much of how I feel right now. May this not be forever. May God ease my mother’s pain.