National Poetry Month: Day 4

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So this prompt screwed me up. F**k. Some major issues came up for me when I was silent and meditated. Hopefully, this helps others to listen to the inner voice.

 

Quiet Nights

Some evenings

when the sky is crisp and black

when the world is bold and loud

I sit in my car

Peel the roof back

Recline and remind myself

that the universe is expanding and I am in it

 

“Listen”, I say

Can you hear it’s heartbeat in the rhythm of the rumba bass playing from the club down the street?

Do you understand the cicadas speaking in sonic tones saying “Shhhh… you’ll be fine” ?

When the train rumbles by

as it always does at 9

I take a breath

Hold it in

Count to 10

Hoping when I release

I will expel the toxic sound of panic coming from the rail’s voice

 

She shouts to me

“Do you know where you are?!?!”

“Are you on the right track?!?!”

“Who gets left behind today?!?!”

 

When I finally breathe out

she has moved on to the next stop

She is not concerned with me any longer

 

I look to the moon

Listen to the almost silence

the not quite quiet

The lunar beams are only half present tonight

Reminding me that I, too, am not full

Incomplete

It’s nights like these when the tears come

and I speak the secrets I can no longer keep

I hold my own hand

“It’s ok to want more”, I whisper

trying hard to not choke on my own thoughts

desperately deciding to believe my own voice

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